The First Snowball And The First Strike Of Lightening. ( of 2007 )

There were no junior doctors available to take duty over the festive period so it fell to me . For the first time in twenty years. But I'm sixty four, one and a half years away from retirement, so I was not overjoyed at the prospect of being on call. My wife had died two years ago on new years eve at 23:55 of heart failure. Holding a glass of champagne she fell at my feet like a collapsing building.

A general practitioners life in this neck of the woods is none too exiting. And that's the way I like it.
I hoped I would live another year to toast my wife at the time of her death. I obviously had to stay sober in case of emergency. At 23:55 I stood in the garden staring in the direction of the nearest village which was three miles away. I had a glass of very watered down wine in my hand.
FLASH. It was 2007. Eight seconds later it was BANG. 2007. The village looked beautiful and I wept without purpose. The heavy white clouds were low and the fireworks permeated the atmosphere revealing beauty and danger.

At 00:15 I went back into the house to check on my Labrador, 'Taffy' . Taffy was okay. He was getting on and didn't hear too well anyway so the fireworks in the distance were no problem.
I drank a small port and smoked a cigar. At 01:00 I went to bed.
I woke at 08:00 and went downstairs, opened the back door for Taffy, and put on the kettle for a cup of tea. A very thin layer of snow had fallen. I couldn't face breakfast. To be quite honest I couldn't face the world but then the phone rang. Could I go out to a woman in the next village who was giving birth? I hadn't delivered a baby in more than 20 years. As I wrote down her address the only thing I could think was ' Stupid bitch. Why weren't you in hospital days ago?'
I changed in a hurry for someone of my age, made sure Taffy was inside and had enough food and then I started my Honda 500cc up and rode through my gate. There were only three houses between me and the next village which was 3 miles in a straight line. 2 dips and 2 hills but none the less a straight line.
All of a sudden as I was passing the second house on the way to the village a little boy jumped up from behind a low brick wall and threw a snowball at me. The stupid little fucker!!! There was no traffic at the best of times on this road so why now????? Why the fuck wasn't the stupid little git playing on his Playstation.?
I lost control of the bike and went arse over tit. Two saltos further I landed in the neighbours garden. The neighbour was Mrs. Jones who I have treated for the last 20 years. But I had now stood up after my fall in my leathers and darkened vizier and she came screaming toward me and proceeded to try to beat me up with a broom handle. She was deranged. She kept on hitting me despite the fact that I was shouting " Mrs. Jones, it"s me the doctor."
I spread my arms out and shouted " Happy Fucking New Year !!!!" I took my helmet off.
" Oh doctor , it's you."
" Yes it's me you silly bit.... ".. I began, but then all of a sudden she hit me again. At that moment I saw an enormous flash of lightning a mile further down the road. Three seconds later the clap of thunder struck Mrs. Jones to the ground. I helped her to her feet and took her inside.
Then my mobile rang.
" There's a fire at number................"
Exactly where I should have been.
Mother , father , baby didn't make it.
I did.
Mrs.Jones only just missed out.
And my wife is still where I left her.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY !!!!!!!!!!